Why I Desperately Want to Get off of Facebook

Why I desperately want to get Off of Facebook….

I am torn between two worlds. The world of security: control of my thoughts, my heart, my purpose. And the world of insecurity: where I compare my heart, my journey, my preferences, my experiences, my reality to others.

Facebook when not used right can be just that for me. A place where thoughts can be misinterpreted, opinions can be overbearing, and perspective is horribly limited.

Recently I have had people share with me their heart and feelings about my personal exposure on facebook. How they compare their journey to mine, their mothering to mine, their marriage to mine and my instant feeling is SHUT THAT THING DOWN! I often feel like I live in two worlds in my head.

The one where I want to be real and the one I want to be positive.

The one I want to be vulnerable in and the one I want to protect myself.

The one where I want to encourage others in and the one I want to protect myself.

When I wake up in the morning and scroll my facebook it sometimes does my heart damage. Actually, when I spend time just mindlessly scrolling facebook, it DOES my heart damage.

The reality is everyone’s reality is skewed, even those living IN their reality. That is because everyone’s life experiences are different and the way we act, react, engage, disengage, support, etc, it comes from completely separate upbringings. I love facebook for it’s ability to positively influence. To share hope, to share struggles, to give more. But the cost can be high. It doesn’t take much to feel insignificant, to see life from a very open perspective and not be sheltered by time and space because you don’t have to be present to walk through someone’s opinions, experiences, and life. Without those physical walls, it is hard to guard your heart. So here are a fe things I have come up with to use facebook as a positive tool in my life, and not one that breeds insecurity, exposure to things I can’t control, and self bullying (that is where I beat myself up verbally for not doing or being more.)

ONE. Take the facebook app off your home screen. Every time I had an idle moment I would mindless scroll…. and that could either make my mood or break it.

TWO. Use the group apps to engage the things I am a part of which helps me control my time better and my facebook use.

THREE. Remind myself that my worth is not defined on or behind a screen. For me, my value is found in my 4 walls. Being a great mom, serving my wonderful husband, taking care of our home, providing a safe environment, building a business, leaving people and things better than I found them, and being generous.

FOUR. Celebrate what is good. In a moment where your arrows might be in, thinking about how you could be a better person, own a better business, have a prettier face, have a better smile, travel to exotic places, own a better wardrobe, be skinner, taller, richer, happier, celebrate what you have that is good. Celebrate what others have that is good.

FIVE. And when vague-booking, laundry-aring, a passive aggrieve posts go to your heart (because if you are human and have more than 50 friends it is likely to happen) then use the handy unfollow button. Just remember down the road to start fresh and re-follow so you can rebuild into that relationship. Often our feelings are fleeting. They last for a moment and then they are gone and here in 6 months you will likely not remember why you unfollowed them in the first place.

Use your words for good. Build up, add value, and leave people better than you found them.

And if none of this applies to you, give yourself a GIANT pat on the back and keep on keeping on!

There is good out there, you just need to keep yours eyes on it and let what influences you be of hope and good.

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