Digging Out of the Hole

holeSomehow it is June and even though time has moved forward it really feels like it has been at a standstill for a while. As I began to reflect over the last several months/ year I owned a few things. One. The current status of my business is a reflection of my year. Two. My home is a reflection of my heart and my heart is a reflection of my home. Currently my home is a mess and on the verge of a mental breakdown yesterday I realized my lack of keeping up with things such as: clothes, clutter, papers, and deep cleaning shows greatly in all areas of my home.  As I was reflecting on this I realized there is a GREAT correlation between the two. When you have something that needs tending to and care and you begin to neglect it’s basic needs, the problems begin to build and the hole gets deep fast.

Rewind to yesterday. Inside my head and out of my mouth, “My house is a mess.” ” Our drawers are full of junk”, Our closets desperately need cleaned”, “The basement makes me want to cry” and “How can the garage be so messy when I swear I just cleaned it.” My heart was sad and my home was a direct reflection. It doesn’t feel like home, it feels like a chore.

My emotional rollercoaster continued as I reflected on the status of of our business, mind you it is still completley stellar and a major blessing, but it was broken and I knew why. I stopped caring for the things I needed to and I stopped putting my heart into it. Feelings of disappointment, frustration and sadness overhwlmed me. My business is part of our every day life. It is a great source of income, it brings in amazing friendships, and it allows us to work as a family doing something we love.

This is the result of life. So I found myself asking this question.

Why do our circumstances have so much power over us?

Why when our days are full of so many blessings do we get caught up in the trials and hardships. Yes, the older I get the more I realize this life was not meant to be easy and nothing about it will be. Lives change, people change, friendships change. Change is inevitable. So why is my home so messy? Why is my business so broken? Because I was stuck in the change. Not sure where to look, what direction to go in and how to move forward. Stuck in a year long time capsule where the world continued to move forward and I did not. Therefore my home became cluttered, my business slowed down and my heart grew weary.

So this is me owning my stuff. It is broken and the only person who can fix it is me. Life circumstances are tricky and there is no doubt that each mountain gets harder to climb and growth will happen or death will happen. We must change with life as it is ever changing or we find ourselves stuck in a mess. A messy home, a messy business and messy life.  So today, I take it back (well, I take the first steps). I had a phone chat with my friend Jacq today and we spoke of the rut our lives have fallen into. She challenged me to start purging the things that weigh me down (CLUTTER) and start to move forward. She said “Kelly, you have to start somewhere.” So I did. I marched my bum to the basement, I began to organize the clothes, sweep the floor, and make piles for trash and a yard sale.

If you think you are alone, up to your eyeballs in housework, job, relationships, etc, you aren’t alone. Everyones life is messy. There comes a time where you own the mess you can fix and begin the healing process.

So here is to breathing life into my home. Putting love and passion back into what I LOVE to do. And finding time for rest, relationships, and love.

For organiztion I will be following Grethehen Rubin’s 21 days – De-clutter your home and life, The Happiness Project, and The life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo 

If you feel like me, you aren’t alone. So take the first step and get back to the life you were created to live! A life of Freedom!

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