I don’t talk much of my personal life because then it wouldn’t be so personal, but with a big step in my life journey I found myself in a lot of reflection of my personal life. Some know and many don’t that I don’t have a personal relationship with my dad. My mom and my grandparents really filled most of the voids I had growing up, but I can still remember times where I wanted the opportunity to be a “Daddy’s Girl”. I had a few close friends who had wonderful fathers who I looked up to and respected greatly, and those men also helped mask the hole that a little girl develops when she doesn’t quite know her dad.
Over the last few months I have had a huge wake up call with what I am doing in and with my life. Welcoming our soon to be third daughter and turning 30 has given me a fresh perspective on what life is all about. I thought it was about growing credibility, awards and accolades, and finally becoming a respectable adult. Though all those things are good, they did not quite fill the void that I was desperately trying to fill (even though I didn’t even know it)
With the coming of our third child, and finding out she is a girl, I have heard a lot of thoughts from others:
- Wow, just wait until the teenage years
- Your poor husband is so out numbered
- I would not want to be in that house in 10 years
As a former teenage girl, a woman, and two sisters myself, I know very well what it is like to live in a house full of women. As I reflect on the differences for my kids and what their personal future will look like, I know they have a different opportunity. Though my dad chose to leave and didn’t have a desire to have a relationship with me, I feel like God gave me the PERFECT husband to raise Godly, loving, serving , beautiful little girls. I can’t imagine the joy my kids experience when he crawls into bed with them to wake them up in the morning , tucks them in at night and prays protection over them, or takes them out on “daddy dates”, but I do know that he is slowly shaping their hearts for what they will look for in their future husband. The voids that so many women and girls face as fathers are less and less present in their daughters lives, my kids will not experience.
If I had to choose the path of having a present loving dad in my life, saving me from dumb choices and life experiences, or have a kind hearted, gentle, loving, selfless, amazing dad in my little girls lives, there is no question which I would choose. I feel grateful to have little girls who have the opportunity to grow up with a Godly father who will love them unconditionally and who will work to fill the voids that so many women (myself included) feel the need to fulfill. I am thanking God for his blessing to me and my girls and for sealing what voids I had experienced as my girls get to experience the best of the best!
God gave me girls for a reason, he is healing my heart one day at a time.