What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
Over the last several months, my heart and brain have been working toward this realization, life is only making me stronger. I have been learning a lot about growth and where I am at personally in my walk of life. Here are a couple things I have learned.
We are never done growing.
The only reason you stop growing is death. If you are alive, you are always growing. Life is always changing. No matter where you are in life, circumstances will always change. From new additions to your family to death, from the loss of jobs to changing homes, the phasing out of old friendships to the making of new ones. We are always changing.
My biggest fear in change and growth is failure. Failing at being the best mom, wife, leader, friend, and so on. During this season of change and growth, I have constantly looked at myself as though I am failing when the outcome isn’t quite what I thought it would be. There is not a manual on how to do any of these things and thus you are bound to do some of it wrong. If we hold our standards to others standards, we will always fail. When growing and changing, we are bound to do it wrong. From the most famous people to the most normal people, trail and error is inevitable. I think what we need to do is focus on changing our language that defines our journey. If you aren’t succeeding at something, does that mean you have failed?
Trial and error, not failure.
This past week, I have come to a face-slamming reality that I am not failing, I am just growing, learning, and changing. There is something inside of me that at every obstacle says, I am going to fail. I think this is a common feeling for women with a social media that only shows the pretty side of everyones lives. My heart just wants to share this wake-up-to-reality experience in hopes that someone else feels the same way. It is so hard to not compare yourself to everyone around you and to be okay with right where you are. I am learning that at 28 when I feel I have it all together and it seems like the floor is ripped out from under me, it isn’t because I didn’t do it right, I just have to grow into that experience. As moms, leaders, and wives, it is easy to focus on all the things we don’t do right and how we could change them if we had the second chance. Reality is this: we do have a second chance, daily.
It is not about failing, it is about growing.
I have always viewed this part of the season as failure, but this week I realized it is not at all. It is my opportunity to grow to the next level. As women we speak into the lives of so many around us, it is time we change our view of ourselves as women of failure to women of success. It is no longer about letting go of our bodies, not living up to the house wife standard, or failing at being the perfect soccer mom. You define your success, not society. Embrace your season, and if you feel like you are failing, change direction. They say if what you are doing hasn’t been working you can’t expect the outcome to change if you don’t. Embrace the trail and error and find success within yourself. Buy yourself some flowers today, you are worth it!