Shaping the Self-Image of Others

This week, I had an opportunity to speak to a local group of teens on self image. I started off as I normally do talking about how I viewed myself as a teen. I walked through high school, into college, and into my married years. I focused on how others’ views of me shaped my own view of myself and how we have the power to shape others’ images of themselves. After I was done the adviser said to me “I never thought of it that way, I never thought about how we shape one another’s self image.” I think often we underestimate our power to shape one’s image of themselves. Whether you are in high school, college, or well into your adult years, we ALL impact and influence the way those around view themselves.

By your Words:

We tend to hide words in our hearts. Whether they are positive, negative, personal, intentional, or unintentional, the spoken words of others go right into our hearts. Often children and teens never forget the words used to describe them. The names they are called and ways they are dismissed  or ignored forever shape the way they personally view themselves.

By your Actions:

We can easily forget that the way we treat others impacts the people around us. We are always being watched, whether it is on facebook, in person, at work, at school,or at home. Our platform of influence is much larger than we think. The way we react to a person’s appearance in front of our kids, or the reaction to someone making you frustrated or angry impacts the way those around will react in similar situations.

By your Attitude:

The one thing we underestimate the most. Just with our body language and the way we look at others can make them feel welcome and accepted or immediately cast them outside of your circle.
We have great power to impact each person who walks into our life daily. Our children, spouses, neighbors, tellers, waitresses and so on. Not only do we help define and shape their self-worth, we also teach those around us how to as well. My challenge to you today is to be aware of your actions, reactions, and attitude. The way you speak to others on facebook, face to face, over the phone and so on. Let them know that they are valuable no matter what level of service or relationship they are providing. One can make a small difference, but together with actions and reactions of love and mercy, our impact can be exponentially greater!


  1. Kelly, I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You have found such great ways to use your extra energy, not just in your business but in inspiring others to reach beyond where they are now. You have done it through Scentsy but now are reaching out to teens and kids who need to hear you tell your story and what you have to say. Did you ever think this is what you would be doing now? Go back about 10 years and I bet your life now was not in your radar. What is so great is that you have not let any doubts you may have get in the way of what God is calling you to do right now. I am praying for you and for those young and old you are in touch with and that they can see what potential they have and then have the guts to go for it. God often takes us out of our comfort zones, carries us along until there is comfort in doing his will and then pushes us out a little further while still holding us up so that we can take the next steps without falling. I did not like heights nor was I crazy about water until I was an adult. Walking to the end of the diving board was a very long walk I took many times before jumping off. When I finally trusted that I could do it, the excitement after coming back to the surface will be something I will always remember. God does that for us when we trust that he will walk with us and then keep us safe when we jump. You always seem so self-assured and sure of yourself so maybe you cannot relate to the scardy cat that I was for much of my life. I did not have God in my heart then, though, and did not trust his power. I know from your writing that you know the power that only God can bring to a person’s life. One of the things that he has given you is the power of words, both spoken and written. Keep doing both and you will touch many lives that will also touch many lives. Keep up what you are doing and know that I am praying for you. Thank you for your heart, your words, and your faith.

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