Sometimes in different seasons of life you raise your white flag in the air in hopes that a surrender will calm your emotional waters for a time being. Recently my Facebook feed has been full of cries for help. Friends losing loved ones, cancer diagnosis’s, single parenting, home repair nightmares, friendships lost, children sick and so on. It seems like the waters of despair are everywhere today.
And when you are underwater it is hard to see the others who are battling the same sea you face.
I try to be as real as I can in the public eye while keeping my baggage to myself knowing that negativity breeds negativity and the hopelessness out there is enough to drown anyone who is currently sailing and not sinking. The reality is, we are ALL fighting our own battles. There are times when I pray and wish with everything in me that certain seasons would go away, or even, I wish they never had existed. I look at others and I desperately want to be where they are. Debt free, a footstep ahead in the game, and what appears to genuine happiness. But I know in my heart their problems and seasons exist just as mine do.
It is hard growing up. finding healing in your past and working toward a healthy future. Learning as a parent step-by-step what is good and what you horribly fail at. Failing. Oh how often we have to fail to learn and grow. Failure is like a mighty mountain we have to climb often. Trying to focus on the good that surrounds you while in the midst of climbing the mountain you may find yourself too weary to go on. Each season we face starts in a deep valley and scales the side of steep mountain. Climbing a mountain is never easy but what you become while you endure the climb is what makes it worth it. The stretching of you faith, the emotional collapse of your will, and the desire to overcome and fight to the top.
When I look back on things in my life that I would label as mountains, I see how much they have shaped me into who I am today. They prepared me to climb higher mountains. They game me the knowledge, strength, and will to push to the top even when it seemed hopeless. I embraced them, I fought my way, sometimes I crawled, sometimes I stopped, and sometimes I dared to go back down the mountain. The result at the top of each one was the same, I grew. I became stronger, I became more gracious, I forgave more, I found value in myself.
No one may read this today. It really is a pep talk for my own heart to know that I want to sail not sink. I want to climb and not retreat. I want to see how small the world looks from the top and not how big the mountain looks from the bottom.
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